Pausing for Mental Health

By Shai Kohen, Lower School and Middle School Social Worker
As a social worker at Crescent School, I often hear from boys who are experiencing anxiety. Here’s a story from my own life that I share with them, about how taking time to stop can be a step toward a greater sense of calm and confidence.
The stop sign has played a major role in my life since I was teenager. No, I didn’t get a ticket or think of stop signs as suggestions more than commands for driving safely. They literally became the physical manifestation of telling myself to stop or pause.
 
When I was young, I was a worrier. I worried about my friends liking me, I worried about my parents finding out I was so stressed out, and I worried about meeting a partner I could be with for the rest of my life (or so my teenage self believed). I really struggled with allowing myself the space to just be a teenager and to learn from the trials and tribulations that came with growing up.
 
At the end of my street, there was a stop sign. One morning, as I drove to school, I stopped and stared at the sign for a couple of minutes. I realized that the first step on my journey into mental wellbeing needed to start with me stopping. I needed to stop worrying about friends. I needed to stop worrying about school. I needed to stop worrying about making mistakes. I just needed to STOP.
 
Since that moment at the end of my street, I started visualizing that stop sign every time I felt overwhelmed by life. There is great strength in pausing and taking a deep breath – whether we pause during an exam to calm our nerves, or take a moment during a hectic day to pause, take a sip of water and then continue on. That act of pausing allows me to reset and reframe my mind, even if just for a moment.
 
As I tell the boys, we each must remember that our mental health starts and ends with us. When we begin to feel overwhelmed, it’s imperative that we stop and take a deep breath. It may not provide us with all the answers and it’s not the long-term solution to our concerns, but that momentary pause can be the start of some comfort in an otherwise stressful day.

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