Connection in a Disconnected World
Julie Yocom, Peter Vaisanen, Gina Kay, and Headmaster Michael Fellin attended the NYSAIS-IBSC Thriving Boys Conference at The Browning School in New York City in April. Ms. Yocom submitted this reflection on behalf of the delegation.
The research is irrefutable: Boys today are increasingly facing academic and mental health challenges. To deepen our awareness and understanding of these challenges and how we can implement strategies to support our students, several colleagues and I recently attended the NYSAIS-IBSC Thriving Boys Conference at The Browning School in New York City. During our visit, we gained valuable insights from the keynote speaker, Matt Englar-Carlson and the various workshops that were held.
Englar-Carlson explored the question, “How can we stay connected in a disconnected world?” He reinforced our understanding that relationships and connections are paramount to happiness and health and that every person needs at least one connection in life to thrive. With the knowledge that boys must feel valued and cared for, he challenged us to imagine a school built around connection.
We reflected on our practices in Mentor Group and considered how differently our classroom would look if we focused on building connections in addition to teaching the required content. For example, dedicating the first five minutes of each class to unstructured conversation, where students can talk openly about a topic of their choice, can foster stronger relationships, mutual respect, and deeper understanding of each other.
Englar-Carlson highlighted that boys resist showing vulnerability despite experiencing the full range of emotions. They adopt protective behaviours to hide their feelings and try to demonstrate their masculinity in front of their peers. He reminded us how much effort it can take for boys to navigate daily interactions while managing these hidden layers and encouraged us to look deeper when interpreting and responding to their behaviours. By looking beyond surface reactions and considering the emotions that drive them, we can deepen our empathy and create environments where boys feel safe to express themselves authentically. In so doing, our relationships with our students will strengthen, allowing them to shed performative barriers and foster genuine connection and emotional growth.
All the workshops were informative, but one particular session, “Putting the STUDENT first in our Male Student-Athletes”, left a lasting impact. The presenter addressed the importance of helping student-athletes find their academic strengths and voices as positive academic contributors. She emphasized the importance of not limiting student-athletes to identifying as “just” athletes but helping them find or bring out other interests or skills they may not know they have. As coaches and teachers, we can empower our athletes to thrive and become positive role models in higher education.
This message made us think about the importance of encouraging our student-athletes to get involved in the vast offerings of Character-In-Action programs at Crescent. By participating in an activity they haven’t tried before, they may discover a new passion. Going forward, we will be purposeful in ensuring our students engage in various programs offered at Crescent, as participating in multiple activities will help shape their identities and develop them into well-rounded Men of Character.
We return from the conference with new strategies and insights on deepening connections, looking beyond surface behaviours, and encouraging our students to explore all aspects of themselves. By intentionally creating spaces for growth and connection, we can better support their well-being.
